Monday morning reflections:
Oops! Nearly forgot to include my sacrament meeting faux pas yesterday. It went like this:

Now that I’m the UNofficial bulletin/newsletter publisher for the branch, I’m afraid that I take a few liberties. Prez Watkins told me that a man named Schultz would be speaking in SM yesterday. I wanted a couple of details prior to his talk so I could print them in the bulletin. (I like to include in the bulletins I’ve published in prior wards, a quote from the upcoming conference address that the speaker will be basing his/her talk on) So I emailed Schultz (the army goes only by last names) and asked for the info. His wife emailed me back with, “Hi, my name is Fran – Scottie is gone for the week. His grandmother passed away in Arizona and he flew there for the funeral. He won’t be back in time to speak in church.” Okay, I told myself. I thought long and hard about volunteering (something unheard of in the army) then called Prez W and told him Schultz wouldn’t be there and would he like me to pinch-hit for him. He declined my offer, saying that the chaplain who was scheduled as the other speaker was rather long-winded and would probably be happy to take up the whole time slot. Okay, I said, I’ll just list Chaplain Degn as the solitary speaker.

So the time came yesterday and SM was about to commence. Up pops Schultz HIMSELF to sit up front with his talk in his hands. What?! Both Prez W and I assaulted the poor guy demanding to know why he wasn’t in Arizona at his grandmother’s funeral, as his wife, Fran, told me he was. He said his wife's name is Julie and that his grandmother lives in Ohio and that she’s in perfect health, thank you very much. “Isn’t your name Scott Schultz?” I asked. “No, my name is JOHN Schultz,” he replied. “Oh, sorry for the confusion and we sure look forward to hearing your message”. He began his talk by mentioning that not only was he not listed on the bulletin because he was supposed to be at a non-existent Arizona grandmother’s funeral, but that this very same talk had already been postponed a few weeks because his previous time slot at that earlier date had been usurped by an unexpected stake leader. He was starting to feel VERY unwanted, he said! He said that apparently there’s another Schultz in the branch and that “someone” (I blushed) got them confused. John Schultz took it with good humor, however, and presented us with a very good message on serving others, quoting from President Uchdorf’s recent conference address.

(And yes, the second talk by the chaplain was long-winded. He gave an excellent talk on the Book of Mormon, but it went way long and there were only 15 minutes left for RS/Priesthood. We don’t do Sunday School.)

Well, I wish the story ended there because my face was already beet-red.

So last eve Alan and I were sitting here at our computers doing our usual thing: sorting thru names and forms and trying to enter into our two databases the correct info when he burst out laughing. “And just what’s so funny?” I asked.

“You won’t believe this,” he said, “It’s not Scott Schultz AT ALL! Scott’s last name is SCHWARTZ!”

“WHAT?!? Lemmee see that!”

Sure’nuff, he was right! I think this chick needs to have her LASIK re-done, do you agree?

So here’s fair warning to all the Schultzes, the Schwartzes, the Schurks, the Schlesingers and even the Schellenburgers on this post: If you get an email or a phone call from an overly-zealous six foot redhead (with gray roots), run. Run very very fast. She could ruin your whole day!!!

So I took my beet-red face (which by then was grape-purple) and went to bed. SO darned funny . . .